‘Raise your hand if you too have been victimised by a Sports Direct mug’

Not out of character because I think I’m above cut-price shin guards, but because I’m allergic to most forms of exercise. And, until my dog-walking trainers sprung a leak, I had never really found myself in want of its athletic wares.

When my order arrived and I dug in, I was met with an extra surprise. A neatly packaged, plain cardboard box accompanied my purchase. It was weighty.

I assumed an accidental mystery product had somehow found its way inside my order and my mind began to swirl at the possibilities of what could be inside.  

But when I ripped open the box, I was crestfallen. How could I have been so naive? There inside, of course, lay the retailer’s signature supersized mug emblazoned with its logo.  

But why had I been sent this? I’m not a football manager.  

My confusion was shortly followed by fury. Had I been surreptitiously charged for this?! Sports Direct had lied to me before after all – they’ve been holding fake closing down sales on and off for the best part of the last two decades.  

A quick check of the order email showed no sign of a mug charge. With no exposé to dive into, I was back to wondering what the hell I was going to do with this bladder-bursting, aesthetic nightmare of a drinking vessel.  

“Despite my strong feelings, the offending item remains in my home – just like Mike Ashley planned all along”

Call me dramatic, but I believe there’s psychological warfare at play here.  

An average mug holds about 250ml of liquid, but a Sports Direct mug will hold more than double that at 570ml. Frankly, for a hot drink, that’s obscene.  

But if you’re the type of person who finds the look of the mug assaulting, it’s also so big that you may feel compelled to hold on to it because it may have some other practical use.

So, despite my strong feelings, the offending item remains in my home – just like Mike Ashley planned all along.  

But the Sports Direct we know now has evolved since the 90s. Its elevation strategy has moved it away from its bargain-bucket beginnings.

We’re in the era of tech-led flagships and adverts helmed by a plethora of Premier League football stars. Some of its stores even stock The North Face, for Christ’s sake.  

So, when I had a chance to interview the brand’s managing director Ger Wright, I had to ask: is it time up for the mug?  

She told me, emphatically, that it’s here to stay. The mug is incredibly popular and it’s had a branding refresh along with everything else.  

“We’re very proud of the elevation within Sports Direct,” she told me.   

“There’s the old and the new – and I think now you’re seeing more new than old, but there are still some nice traditions. I like the way that we surprise our consumers by adding something to their shopping basket.” 

To an extent, I can see her point. I also don’t doubt that announcing the mug’s discontinuation would be a media storm that, even for Frasers Group, may be too big of a burden to bear.  

But what we disagree on is the element of surprise. For the sake of the nation’s cupboards, and our charity shops, I formally request that Sports Direct add an opt-out option at the checkout – lest we all be taken for mugs.