Exclusive: John Timpson on how he beat days of stress-induced despair

Plenty has been said and written about keeping fit, the importance of work-life balance, regular exercise, proper holidays and the ability to relax.

People cycle to work, others do yoga, join a gym, play tennis, practise Pilates – all hope that this will help to keep them fit, both physically and mentally.

Some, despite following a sensible routine and looking the picture of health, can still suffer from stress.

I know, it has happened to me many times. It’s not your fault, you haven’t done anything wrong, it’s just the way you are.

It first happened in about 1976.

“Sales were poor, stock levels rose, and some poorly judged buying meant more markdowns than usual, so profits would suffer”

I had been running the Timpson business for about a year and everything had gone well; sales were well up, our profitability was outperforming many other parts of [former owner] UDS Group and I enjoyed being busy, but perhaps I got a bit complacent.

My honeymoon period was bound to come to an end. Unseasonal weather brought a few weeks when sales were poor, stock levels rose, and some poorly judged buying meant more markdowns than usual, so profits would suffer.

Within days I turned from the perfect optimist to a glum pessimist.

Suddenly I was spending every waking moment turning problems over in my mind.

Mostly they were things that didn’t matter that much. Trivial decisions that would normally never have bothered me now took on great significance.

“My days were spent between periods of real misery and times of nervous despair – either unhappiness or butterflies in my stomach”

I was worried about everything but couldn’t make a decision on anything. Any sense of priority had disappeared, all areas of my life at work and home assumed equal importance and I felt unable to cope.

My days were spent between periods of real misery and times of nervous despair – either unhappiness or butterflies in my stomach, nothing in between.

I remember the morning when I was at Macclesfield station, waiting for the train to Euston.

I looked round the platform at my fellow travellers: some in groups heading to a trade fair, two, wearing business suits, in deep discussion interrupted by laughter.

Wherever I looked people were happy and animated, looking forward to their day ahead.

I was envious, wishing that I could swap my mood for theirs. While they were laughing and joking I was worrying about the day ahead.

“Stress can happen when the normal fight-and-flight instincts that equip us to deal with the stresses of life get to breaking point”

I was going to a meeting of multiple shoe retailers. I had read the papers distributed ahead of the meeting, but couldn’t concentrate, so I didn’t know what they said.

I was nervous, the butterflies were back and I didn’t fancy facing a room full of people, so I spent the next few minutes trying to decide whether I should abandon the trip.

The train arrived, I found a seat and started to worry about something else.

One of my biggest worries was me. I was scared to tell anyone about the way I felt, worried that others would realise that I was as inadequate as I now believed I’d become.

I just hoped this dark period would disappear, but every morning when I woke up it was still there.

I was yet again going from nervousness to misery, and even before getting dressed I was worrying about the latest insurmountable problem.

I didn’t even tell Alex [Timpson’s late wife], but she knew, it wasn’t difficult for her to notice I had changed and it can’t have been easy for her to live with the world’s most perfect pessimist. She chose her moment and got me to talk, then told me to go to the doctor.

“All I do know is that stress, for me, has a happy ending – the magic day when you wake up and everything is back to normal”

Just talking about it helped a lot. Dr Angus Luscombe, in Wilmslow, explained how stress can happen when the normal fight-and-flight instincts that equip us to deal with the stresses of life get to breaking point.

But he gave me some happy pills and the good news that I just had to be patient and it would go away.

He was right – the chat in itself made me a bit more positive and three weeks later I woke up without a care in the world.

He didn’t tell me that stress would return, but when it did at least I knew what it was.

I have had many of these dark times when stress takes over every moment of your thinking day. Some bouts are a lot worse than others and there doesn’t seem to be any particular reason why.

Surprisingly, I had no problem coping with two of the most stressful times in my life, when I was involved for nine intense months negotiating our management buyout, and during the months after Alex died.

“The worst that can happen is for you to keep quiet about it, and the first step on the road to getting better is to tell your close family and friends”

Alex got to know the signs, she even detected the early indications of a new period of stress before I did.

She insisted I always sought help from a doctor, telling me: ‘Don’t just sit and sulk, do something to help yourself’ – and she made sure I told Christine, my PA, and our close family. ‘They need to know why you’re so moody.’

Sometimes the pills didn’t seem to do the trick and I had some counselling sessions combined with a number of bizarre relaxation techniques (don’t ask!) but I still don’t know what works best.

All I do know is that stress, for me, has a happy ending – the magic day when you wake up and everything is back to normal.

I’ve included this chapter on stress [in my book] because I have discovered it helps to talk about it. It helps me to understand myself, but I have found it is helpful to other sufferers to discover they are not alone.

When it first happens you think that you are the only person in the world who has ever faced the problem. It is a relief to know you are normal, perhaps a bit unlucky to be made that way, but totally normal in the way your body is behaving.

The worst that can happen is for you to keep quiet about it, and the first step on the road to getting better is to tell your close family and friends, then go to see a doctor.

I also hope this will help those people who never have had, and never will get, stress symptoms.

It may explain why some of their very best colleagues suddenly become withdrawn and indecisive. They may be reluctant to talk to anyone but hopefully when the time comes you will be a good and sympathetic listener.

Stress is often caused by the pressure of dealing with other people, but the support of colleagues can be an important part of a speedy recovery.

• Keys to Success by John Timpson is published by Icon Books. Retail Week readers can buy the book at the special price of £10.99 with free P&P in the UK by calling 01206 255777 and quoting the offer code RWTIMPSON. Offer valid until May 31 2017.